Tenant Troubles Classics
Like the poodle in the microwave, tenants have urban legends. If you are a tenant, don’t get sucked in by common tenant misconceptions.
Landlords steal security deposits because they can. They bank on the fact that many tenants will simply walk away.
Phone calls never, ever convince a landlord to refund a security deposit. To wait six months and think you might not have to sue is simply wishin’ and hopin’ and thinkin’ and prayin’.
Anyone who didn’t come in with yesterday’s rain knows that rich people always complain about not having enough. It’s in their nature.
If you are a tenant, there is nothing wrong with working in a bookstore, as long as you are working in three of them.
If you are representing yourself, imagine an episode where Perry isn’t familiar with the rules, the judge hates him and Hamilton Burger has a perfect record.
If you find an electrocuted rat in your kitchen stove, odds are that your landlord has breached the implied warranty of habitability in your lease.
The implied warranty of habitability–the landlord’s guarantee that he will provide you a unit with more amenities than a cave or a cardboard box.
A landlord who lives in his own in-law unit is usually so penurious that you can hear him squeak when he tiptoes up to your door to eavesdrop—the ultimate Cheese Ball.